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Tuesday 22 March 2016

Examing my Expections: The Laurel Apprentice Relationship

A friend of mine was given her Laurel this weekend and I am glad to say I made the effort to attend her Vigil if not the actual Elevation. During my time in the Vigil tent we got off discussing the Laurel Apprentice relationship.

She asked me a question that have had me examining my expectations and desires over the last few days.


Her question was pretty straight forward: What are you looking for in a Laurel Apprentice relationship?

I thought I knew the answer. I said I would want someone who could and would teach me one or more skills, preferably in wood working; someone who would be an advocate; and someone who could guide me through the quagmire that is the culture and politics in the SCA.

Seemed like a good answer at the time. But, over the last three days I have replayed that one simply question and answer 100 or more times and each time I find myself wishing I had said more. I wish I had emphasized certain aspects more than others. Or maybe, just maybe, I did exactly what my friend wanted and that was the really think about what I want and how I want to get there.

So what am I really looking for in a Laurel? Here it is in order of importance to me...

1) I want a deep connection with a person or a group of people that are as enthusiastic, slightly obsessed about Arts and Sciences, who are happy for my successes and commiserate with me in my failures, and who I can really be myself with. I want someone who can give me gentle guidance when I need it, or beat me over the head with a stick when I need that. I want to have the kind of relationship where I feel welcomed and there is a genuine affection for me and I for them. I want a person I can be honest with and who will be honest with me.

2) I want someone who can help me understand the politics, and how to successfully navigate it, within the SCA. If I make a mistake, I want someone who can tell me what that mistake was and how to prevent making that mistake in the first place. I also want someone who can tell me how to go about correcting an inadvertent mistake without having to completely humiliate myself in the procress.

3) I want someone who can help me up my research game, so to speak.

4) I want a Laurel who can and will teach me, guide me, and otherwise encourage me in skills. I have enough interests that I would love to learn from anyone but I am passionate about Woodworking (carving, joinery, finishing, etc), Costuming, and nalbinding.